Aging and Sexuality: What to Expect and How to Stay Healthy

Table of Contents:

  • Getting older means you’re probably dealing with a lot of physical and emotional shifts. 
  • And while sexual desire does decrease with age, it’s not the end of the line. Aging shouldn’t mean the end of intimacy. 
  • Plenty of older couples have fulfilling sex lives and are closer than ever, even in their retirement years. Spicing things up with toys makes intimacy more exciting.
  • Knowing what to expect is a good way to prepare yourself for this chapter. The bottom line? Taking control of your sexuality makes aging less scary.

Aging may be natural, but it’s not always pretty. Getting older has its ups and downs, and it can affect your relationship with your body in big ways. Some things are easier to make your peace with, but other facts are harder to swallow. 

Right off the bat, it’ll take some getting used to when you start seeing wrinkles and grey hair transforming the reflection that stares back at you every morning. Then, there’s going to be a slight dulling of the senses. But truth be told, these changes are a testament to decades spent living life to the fullest. Smile lines should be cherished and wrinkles adored.

But when emotional and mental shifts start to enter the fray, it might start to get a bit too much. And that’s completely understandable, since the next thing aging will disrupt is your sexuality. 

Knowing what to expect might make it slightly easier to adjust to this shift. And that’s what this guide is all about, along with some helpful tips to restore those feeble embers to the burning bonfire we know you’ve been missing.

The Effects of Aging on Your Sexuality

Hormonal Shifts

Now, you might be wondering why sexual desire decreases with age. The short answer is that during this time, your body starts producing a lower level of hormones. 

Think about how your estrogen plummets when menopause starts. This has its own domino effect and vaginal dryness is one of those uncomfortable feelings at this time that might make sex somewhat painful. But lubes are an easy fix for managing aging with sexuality, and this mimics your body’s natural response to arousal, delivering O-faced pleasure every time.

Even erectile dysfunction (which happens because of lower testosterone) can be redressed with enhancement creams or pills. That being said, it’s best to check with your doctor first to avoid any drug interactions.

Lowered Sex Drive

Your desire for sexual activity does indeed decrease with age. But it isn’t always your hormones that are to blame for this. When things like anxiety, low self-esteem, and stress are taking up prime real estate in your brain, it’s no wonder if sex is the last thing on your mind.

Feeling self-conscious about your body is also a reality with sexuality and aging. And if you’re not feeling confident in your skin, you’re probably not going to love the idea of sex. Focusing on foreplay can be one way to tease away the tension. Even wearing lingerie can boost your confidence. 

There could be other reasons for not wanting to initiate sex at an older age. Something like a chronic illness could make sex feel unappealing, regardless of your hormones. Even medicines like SSRIs or beta-blockers might affect your libido. High alcohol consumption also means that by the time you’re older, your sex drive will be lower than typical.

Sexual Response Changes

Another pretty common impact aging has on sexuality is related to arousal. As you get older, it might be harder to feel turned on. For women, this comes down to thinner vaginal walls which might call for more intense stimulation. Take the pressure off and warm up with a vibrator before the fireworks begin. Also, it’s totally fine if orgasms feel slightly less intense; that’s just your body’s natural progression. For men, cooldown periods might get longer after you come, and it’s natural to need more time before you can get erect again. 

Sexual Health and Safety

Aging and sexuality have a huge impact on safety, too. For starters, STIs are worryingly common among older adults. Not to mention physical driving forces like:

  • joint pain
  • mobility constraints
  • lack of stamina

These make it especially challenging for seniors to get intimate. Sex furniture works well in these cases, and you can get cushions that offer better support and even make penetration feel more pleasurable. 

Tips for a Fulfilling Sex Life

Senior couple embracing in front of a window

If all these changes with aging and your sexuality have you feeling out of sorts, you’re not alone. It’s hard to reclaim your spark in the bedroom as a senior, but that doesn’t mean you have to settle for less. Aging gracefully is about embracing all the changes that come with it and adapting with confidence.

  • Freedom and Exploration

While it’s true that sexual desire does decrease with age for most people, there is a flipside to this coin. 

  • Fewer parenting responsibilities and the independence of your retirement years mean that you’re freer to explore your sexuality during this chapter of life. 
  • Older adults can try different models of intimacy 
  • You can also try spicing things up with toys, intimate accessories, or role play
  • Sex Therapy & Counselling

Mismatched libidos or performance anxiety are real issues with aging and sexuality. But it’s possible to address these hiccups with professional guidance. 

  • Sex therapy is one option to explore with your partner
  • Broaden channels of communication and get on the same page in the bedroom by being clear about what you’re missing
  • Older women can also use Kegel balls or try pelvic floor therapy 
  • Urological care for men is great for improved sexual function

As these things go, having the right attitude matters and will dictate how you’ll feel about aging as these changes with your sexuality start to take over. We believe that adults of all ages and genders deserve to feel thigh-shaking bliss, anytime they like. Yes, sexual desires do decrease with age. But intimacy is something you can explore and enhance no matter what stage of life you’re in. 

If anything, all your years of experience give you an advantage since you’ve covered the hard part and figured out what you like. But if you ever feel like there’s more to explore, there’s no time like the present. 

Feel The Buzz

Meet the Author

Dakota Lou

Dakota Lou is a creative storyteller with a knack for sparking connections and exploring new perspectives. As the leader of a sexual wellness business that celebrates inclusivity and creates products for every body, Dakota crafts an environment that inspires confidence and curiosity. When not creating compelling stories, they’re traveling the world, staying active, and enjoying life with their family, friends, and loyal canine sidekicks. Passionate about adventure in all its forms, Dakota brings energy and imagination to both work and play, embracing every moment as an opportunity to connect, grow, and discover something new.