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How to 69 in a Way You’ll Actually Enjoy

Out of all the positions to try, 69 is the ultimate pleasure dream—or at least, that’s the idea. In theory, it brings together the best simultaneous oral stimulation with complete access to each other’s erogenous zones. But in reality, it can feel more like an awkward balancing act. 

Without the right preparation, 69 can be a pure test of focus or just plain uncomfortable. For many, this is a position that has featured in several ill-fated trysts, only to be attempted again with varying degrees of trepidation. 

Does this mean you should give up on figuring out how to 69? Not when this can be an electrifying and intimate experience that can potentially leave both partners fully satisfied. So here are our tips to ace this position with finesse, comfort, and communication.

Couple laying face to face on bed in opposite directions

5 Tips for a Fun 69 Session

1. Hygiene and Prep

1. Hygiene and Prep

The lack of proper hygiene and prep can mar your experience during 69. While this tip applies to all sex positions, it’s highly relevant to how pleasurable 69 feels. Getting into such an intimate position with complete access to your partner’s privates warrants proper forethought and care for personal hygiene beforehand. 

  • Showering not long before the act can make both partners feel more comfortable.
  • Trimmed or groomed areas can help offer better access, but this is entirely personal preference.
  • Fresh breath and hydration are underrated essentials!
  • Don’t forget to use a toy cleaner for quick disinfection after enjoying this position with toys or butt plugs. 

2. Comfort is Key

2. Comfort is Key

Whether you’ve tried this position before and weren’t satisfied or you’re just curious about how to 69, its potential pleasure is crucially dependent on finding a comfortable spot and setting the right ambiance. This tip for trying 69 helps set the tone during this intimate position, creating a relaxing environment.

  • Begin by choosing a bed, couch, or sturdy armchair to avoid awkward bumps or inconvenient cramps.
  • Opting for sex furniture like mounts and cushions can also reduce strain during this position, helping with positioning and support while creating a cozier environment.
  • Next, set the mood with dim lighting or music. Pay attention to incorporating any elements that make you both feel relaxed.

3. Communication Makes It Better

3. Communication Makes It Better

When learning how to 69, healthy communication will make it easier to maximize pleasure. Unlike the depiction of wordless synchronization during sex in popular media, talking during the act is entirely normal—and sometimes even necessary. 

Talking during sex has several benefits, especially if you and your partner are trying out a new position or are experimenting with vibrating toys and sex accessories. It’s a key step in figuring out how to have fun with 69, so don’t be afraid to guide each other with gentle directions or express your preferences.

  • Use verbal and non-verbal cues to guide each other.
  • Remember that it’s okay to pause and adjust if something isn’t working—if you found your rhythm once, you’ll find it again!
  • If you have certain likes or dislikes, set boundaries beforehand—comfort comes first, always.

4. Finding the Right Variation

4. Finding the Right Variation

Close-up of couple’s hands against bedspread with sex toys

This tip for 69 is for those who don’t love its conventional variation. If 69 doesn’t feel right to you, don’t give up on it just yet. This is a versatile position with a few variations for you to try out. 

  • Classic: In this variation, one partner stays on top while the other lays down.
  • Side-lying: This is a more relaxed alternative that is great for those who don’t love being on top.
  • Using a chair or opting for standing variations can be an option for those feeling adventurous.
  • Explore role-play or use lube to reduce friction and heighten stimulation for both parties.

5. Pace and Pleasure

5. Pacing and Pleasure: It’s Not a Race

If you’re wondering how to make 69 an enjoyable experience, it helps to remember that it’s not a race to the finish line. This tip is for 69, as well as any other sex position you’re trying, since rushing can cause stress or performance anxiety, detracting from your overall experience during intimacy. 

We recommend devoting enough time to foreplay and simply taking in the sights—and the sensations—with your partner in this glorious position!

  • Take turns focusing on how you feel with each other instead of trying to multitask.
  • Make slow, deliberate movements that heighten the experience, letting you feel more intensely.
  • If it gets overwhelming, pause and enjoy the moment before continuing.

So, there you have it—learning how to 69 doesn’t have to be a gymnastic feat or a multitasking nightmare. With the right setup, a bit of laughter, your favorite toys, and possibly some lube, it can be an incredibly hot way to connect and explore each other’s pleasure.